The IPL Baba

The play is all set. All the cards are in place. The air is thick with expectation. The clock is slowly ticking on. A pair of eyes keeps on darting towards it: anxious, curious, eager, keen, impatience written large in them……………… the hour clock strikes, the pendulum swings……………….. a gasp escape from the owner of those mesmeric eyes…………………

“Papa! Time ho gaya IPL match ka…………” he screams and rushes forward to grab the remote. Not a second should be wasted. He remembers the exact channel number and punches in the number on the remote………. Bingo the SONY Max channel flashes on the screen. Today the match is between the RCB (Royal Challengers of Bangalore) and Mumbai Indians.

The RCB has won the match toss and have elected to bat first. The opening batsmen are walking on to the field and in his hands he already has the cards of the openers long before they are visible on the screen: Dilshan Tillakaratne and Chris Gayle.

Then the camera focuses on the players walking in and there can be no surprises or rewards for guessing who they turn out to be. Because at home we say:

“IPL Baba ki jai ho!!”

So who is this IPL Baba? What does this imply? What kind of Baba breed is this?

Well! To lift the curtains off this suspense: here we present the IPL Baba:

He is none other than my own dearest son: Manveer Singh Pabla

He is a walking encyclopedia about IPL.

Want to know where the match is being played? Ask Manveer.

Who are the competing teams? Ask Manveer.

What time does the match start? Ask Manveer.

What would be the batting lineup of the team? Ask Manveer.

This time around he has been so consumed by this tournament that it has taken us by surprise.

The cards would take a ride on the bus to school; they will be out on the shopping spree with Manveer, cards will be there for the friends to see and others to envy, cards will get a good night’s sleep along with him on his cushioned bed. Wow! What a luxury!!

When the cards are being used to play the games with whomsoever happens to be carrying it around, and then they are used for trading. Higher the value of the card being traded more the number of the less valuable cards you need to shell out. For a Sachin Tendulkar gold card, you will have to shell out as many as 10 ordinary cards.

Playing game with the cards is no mean game as he knows all the cards and their value by heart and also remembers all the marks/signs/indentation on each. So in a game you can try all you want and still you are bound to lose because it takes only a glance from him to know what card we have in hand and play his next accordingly.

This is a passion without limits, all encompassing, all consuming!!

If this how he works or plays, I am wondering what will happen when he chooses a vocation of his choice, his true calling!! Such giddy heights he will reach and so all consuming will it be that it will be a sure shot success for him………….. Amen!!

Is it all fair play?

“I don’t want to go to the class, you can get my name deducted from there”, Manveer said these words with averted eyes and refusing to look at me or face me.

I was shocked to hear him say this but was more disturbed coz he was not facing me squarely and stating his decision. There was more to it than what was visible to us.

He had been avoiding practice sessions, dozing off while playing and generally losing interest in something that he was soooo… eager to learn. What is going wrong? I just decided to probe him further about it. I simply had to say, “What happened, Mani?” and the dam of emotions burst open.

“It is very unfair, Mom!! When we are in the same class and are at the same level then why it has to be me only who has to keep on repeating the lesson?”, he looked at me with so much pain and hurt in his eyes that I was touched to the core of my heart ……….

Ever since I can remember, Manveer has always been insisting on learning how to play guitar. He has been waiting to turn 7+, so that he can enroll for the same. Then how did the situation turn around so badly in just a month and a half?

 I had touched him at the place where it hurt the most……. He was hurting deep down and had not shared it with us……….. Why? Keeping these thoughts aside, I focused on the issue at hand.

“Manveer, what do you mean? Who are we talking about here?” I tentatively asked Manveer. “Mama, my group mates at guitar……….. Sir always gives me home work and then in the next class I have to play the same again while all of them just simply move on. Aisa kyun?” “Unko bhi toh fir se play karna chahiye!” tears rolling down his cheek and emotions floating in them……… it took all my effort to stop myself from crying.

“OK!! But why don’t they repeat the same lesson again? What does your Sir say about this?”  He became all the more grumpy and replied, “I don’t know.”

After giving it some thought, I understood what was going on………. His group had kids who were elder to him by 3 or more years and they were learning at a different pace as compared to him. Being a Libran cusp, his balance was badly shaken and he didn’t like it. Manveer has always been very fair in his conduct: if Mama gets 2 kisses from him, then even Papa gets 2 kisses from him. If Mama gets a heavenly back rub from him then Papa also has to get it. It is just not in him to be partial towards anyone. All things balanced and fair: that is his philosophy.

In competitive board games, he even goes to the extent of helping the other player if he senses the other person to be lagging behind.

But in his class that was not happening, others were being taken ahead and he was deliberately left behind. So seeing such injustice being done to him in the class was really upsetting and disturbed his sense of fair play so much that he simply wanted to call it quits.

Ok! So we have the reason of the withdrawal and here comes the task to explain that different people learn at different pace and also that this is not a competition where one has to stand first, it is a passion which he chose to follow and excel in.

Now he has understood and come to terms with different learning scenarios and let’s see how it goes further.

This incident brought forth the intensity of emotions which he is experiencing and also a hidden trait: he doesn’t always come forth and share his turmoil with us. He has a tendency to internalize the thoughts, pain and conflicts; he is much more sensitive than an average child of his age.

I want to say to Manveer, “Darling, it is important to come ahead and share your views about what you feel is going wrong. All the more so if it affects you negatively.”

I hope he will surround himself with people who will understand this and not take advantage of the fact. The mother hawk in me has just become even more watchful of him and his surroundings.

Godspeed to you, Darling!!

Yippee!!  JManveer has gone onto third standard.

Awww!! LHe is growing too fast………….

Yeah!! J Today he tied his shoe laces himself……

Ohh!! L Now he doesn’t need me anymore for those small little things.

Wow!! J He is reading his Roald Dahl on his own!!

L He won’t ever ask me again, “mama! Will you read me this story today?”

Every day, there are millions of such things that happen and keep tormenting me: they are exhilarating, they are torturous………… they fill me with pride, they leave me wishing for more moments from past gone by……….they are pure joy to watch, they  fill my heart with longings so rare…………. One moment I am on sky nine, the other moment I am deep in the mellows …………..

“Show me where the signature is required, I will do it…. You don’t need to worry!!”

My pen stalled and breaking my trail of thoughts; I looked around and saw a pair of mischievous eyes looking on eagerly at me!!

“Hi, Manveer! I was just filling up your new Eric; nothing for you to worry about.”

“I know!! That’s why I am here……………. I need to put in my signatures as well,” he chimed.

“Ohh!!!” I rolled my eyes and stepped back.

Mockingly I bowed and paved the way for him………. He went ahead and very confidently and patiently signed on the dotted line.

Me and Jatinder looked on with amusement, pride and excitement…………………. Have you come across such a heady mix of emotions!!

While swelling with pride why were my eyes beginning to fill with the tears……………!!

It was an enormous moment and a memory flashed back to all the previous years when I used to just simply put in my signatures wherever his were required: his Eric, his passport documents, his visa papers, anything and everything was signed by me or his father.

Now here he was standing nonchalantly and wondering what the big deal was it all about……….. Why his mother was suddenly teary eyed and what his father seemed as if he will burst with pride!!

He is and will always remain an extension of me………….

But at that moment it just hit me like a huge blast of air: NOW he has an entity of his own.

The invisible umbilical cord that has been binding us till now is somehow being cut off slowly. He is making way for himself and is step by step becoming an independent individual …………….. No longer only have my little Mani, Manna or such other million names I choose to call him by.

Off course he will always respond to these names and he will always be bound to us in a way that is beyond explanation. But with this small step, he has started on a journey that will be coursed through very uniquely by him and him alone.

Manveer’s own life script is taking shape………… slowly and gradually, but surely!!

And I stand by watching it happen; often an active character responsible for shaping this journey but still every moment is still very much his own unique one!!

God speed to you, darling!!

Moral of the story

Every time when Manveer goes to bed he listens to a story for sure. Either I used to read a story to him from the book or make up one on the spot. All my made up stories were always pointed towards any one nuance from life that I wanted him to understand.

Our bedtime ritual of storytelling and finding moral of the story is something I cherish so much. Most of the time,  the stories I chose revolved around one particular nuance of life that I wanted him to understand.

So there came a phase when he started acting on everything his friends asked him to do, without pausing and thinking the rights and wrongs of the action. So I just thought of sharing one story with him revolving around this idea.

It is a story that we had heard while growing up. Here is how the story goes (only just to remind you):

A man wanted to go to a city to sell his donkey to earn some extra money. Along with his son, Marc, he set off to the city. Both of them walked along with the donkey. A passerby remarked, “Such a silly father! Why doesn’t he let his son sit on donkey?”

Hearing this, the man decided to let Marc ride the donkey and then moved on. After sometime, another person looked at Marc and said sarcastically, “what a selfish son! Making his old father walk while he himself enjoys the ride!”

Now Marc decided to let his father ride the donkey. Again another person passing by remarked, “How silly these people are! Why don’t they both sit on donkey and go?”  Hearing this both of them sat on donkey and rode on.

Here is when a person crossing them looked at donkey with pity and said, “Don’t you have any feelings!! Look at the poor donkey; he is dead tired carrying you both!!”

Now both father and son got down and decided to carry donkey on their back. They tied the donkey’s legs with rope and then hung him upside down from the pole. The donkey was very uncomfortable and started fidgeting. They somehow tried to manage the load of donkey and his fidgeting. While crossing the river, the donkey became so frightened that he started moving a lot. Due to this, they lost control and the donkey fell in the water. The donkey drowned in the river along with it the man’s hopes of earning some extra money. 

Now I turned towards Manveer and asked him, “You understand the moral of the story?”  He looked at me intently and said, “Mama, jab hum bridge cross karte hain toh zayda hilna nahin chahiye.”

I looked at Jatinder and burst out laughing. Such an answer was miles away from our imagination and we were rolling with laughter for so long.

This is one such moment that whenever I remember it, I just smile and think about the innocence that he possessed and how sweetly and sincerely he expressed himself that day.

He was all of 4 years that time and asking for morals and trying to deduce a learning point from them was far from his mind. Here I realized that I was becoming overly ambitious and trying to feed too much to my little innocent baby.

Mother's vision for her child...

Nursing a small little bundle in my womb It must have felt to you like a tomb

Crackled up and wound out through me

Kicking and gurgling with all the glee

 My, my!! The little one does cry

I would magically be by your side; if only I could fly

Sitting, crawling….so much to do and such a vast ocean around

You try to grapple all that makes a sound
 
Bobbling, rotating like a spinning top
You start up and create a show seems like a flop……..

 I chuckle when I watch your antics

For I know you’ll surely have to change your tactics

 You sit, you crawl, and you try to walk

Falling down, you receive quite a knock

 One day I see you smile, standing tall on your own feet……

Bobbly-wooly still you shake, holding on long enough for our eyes to meet

There you fall down once again,
Only to get up despite the pain

You did walk a few steps next time

Music plays in my heart like a chime

 I know now the time has come

For you to run around and watch the sun

 Still you stumble, still you fall

Try again you will despite this all

Let the rain fall, let it storm

I know now, you will reach your stellar form

 For your heart holds no fear

Your eyes have dreams but vision is crystal clear

 Lo behold the world out there

Welcomes you with arms bare

 You run, you fall, you laugh, you ponder

Life with your passion you kindle

Wherever you go, whatever you do

Mother’s wings are there for you

To nurse, to love, to soothe and heal

Give you strength that no one can steal

Out you will go, in the sky you’ll soar

Live and be true to your very core

Monday Morning Blues.......

“Mama, aaj my stomach is paining a lot. Kya karoon?” says Mani while holding his stomach and grimacing. His facial features are all twisted with pain. He is moving around and following all my commands, just keeps on repeating that all is not well with him.
I glance at the clock and tell him to go relieve himself, so that he will feel better. I don’t have time to sit and analyze the yesterday’s food articles he ate. I am just running around all hassled up making sure everything is in place and start calling Manveer. He comes around and gives me a look that says- you lousy mother, here I am not feeling good and you are just not worried about me …..
I somehow weather his look and take him to the washroom to freshen him up. He follows me with a strange mix of expression on his face: scowl and pain
After doing all his ablutions, we are back in the room when he simply cries out with pain and accusation all put together in his voice, “Mama, I said my stomach is paining and you are not even bothering to listen to me or even are not giving me any medicine!!”
I again ignore his remark and go ahead with getting him ready. That is when tears start rolling down his cheeks with a sad, painful look in his eyes………….. I stop, look at him hard and long. He stares back at me ……..while this duel of stare is going on, a voice reaches us from somewhere in the background, it says something like “Monday ko mere bhi stomach mein bahut pain hoti hai”. With lots of effort we peal our eyes off from each other and look at the source of the sound. It turns out to be Jatinder who is standing there with a smirk on his face.
“Manveer, I will go and get some medicine for you…….ok? Just wait, I’ll be right back.”
Manveer takes the medicine and we can see a faint glow spreading on his face…….. “Magic, Papa!! I am already feeling better. Thank you!!!!”
Jatinder smiles back at him and give him a bear hug.
Manveer is all ready and set to leave for first day of his school after a long holiday break.
I must say, sometimes a little compassion and a sip of water with honey is all that is needed to make all the Monday blues to go away……….. I just wish it was this easy to whisk away all our concerns and worries also. Truly it is only when we have childlike innocence can we move ahead in life with none of the so called past ghosts to scare us.

Nadaan Parinde

“Hey Mom, come here and see……. Pigeon has laid its eggs here”, you scream aloud.

I wander into your room and see you peering out of the window…full of wonder, excitement and curiosity. “What is it?”I say in my (usual) irritated mom kind of tune. But when I look out towards your balcony, I saw what your excitement was all about. There were two eggs laid by the mother pigeon, she was hovering around her eggs and wondering what all the fuss was about.

“Wow, this is awesome…….” Before I could even finish my sentence, you started your barrage of questions….. “Mama, will these eggs become babies? When will they become babies? When will they fly? Are they going to live here with us? Will they fly away when they will grow up…? And many more that I don’t seem to remember.

“Mama, you know Sanju didi showed these to me, and you know yeh mother pigeon toh didi ko dekh kar darti bhi nahin hai……….. Kya mein inko touch kar sakta hoon? Mera dil kar raha tha…. Eggs ko utha ke andar le aayein kya?”

I had to take a deep breath and tear my eyes away from the eggs (after all it was for the first time that any bird had laid its eggs for hatching in our balcony). I asked Manveer to catch his breath, calm down and then tried to explain all that I knew about the question bank  put forward to me …… god, do their minds work so furiously all the time ? Are these kids always like these little dynamites…..bursting with ideas, questions, activity and energy off course?

“Nahin, beta! You should not touch the eggs otherwise the pigeon will not hatch them…..And yes now these eggs will become babies and they will then learn to fly as well……… rest of the things watch them as they happen……. Ok?”

From that day onwards, not a morning went and not an evening passed when you didn’t go out there to watch… “Mama, abhi tak babies nahin hue…kab honge yeh babies…. Batao na?” you were so impatient and seeing mother pigeon always sitting on her eggs, you were beginning to worry how long will it be before you got to see the eggs. You used to go and shoo her away, just to have a glance at the eggs. “Mama, abhi bhi nahin hue …….”

“Mama, Sanju didi se toh pigeon darti bhi nahin hai….eggs pe hi baithi rehti hai …”

Now even your papa was keenly involved in this. Whole of the house was waiting for the babies to come and start chirping. Your papa suggested let’s put some food grains and some water right there so that pigeon doesn’t have to leave the nest at all. So started the daily routine of giving rice and water to the would-be-mother………….. Then father pigeon came into picture as well. They were now taking turns at sitting on the eggs for hatching them.  I was wondering “Are they really so different from us humans?”

 After a long wait of around two weeks, we saw two small little pigeons……

“Mama, why are they yellow? They should be grey like their parents?” your quizzing was back yet again and I simply smiled.

We all felt like proud parents and wanted to get really closer to have a good munh dikhaii ki rasam, but the mother pigeon was all like a fighter, hovering around the chicks like a warrior daring us to step ahead. We stepped back and gave her space. She settled down delicately on her chicks…. “Mama, who apne babies ke upar baith gayeee…. Who toh dub jayenge…?” you were really worried. We had to explain that it is alright and she is just protecting them and keeping them warm.

So now every day all of us watched them growing up and become strong pigeons. They were growing quickly and starting to represent their parents (turning grey, you know). They were ready to fly off but even after they left their nest, they do come back at least once during the day …… do they have memories of their home that guides them back … what is the pull that calls them back time and again?

Is it going to be any different when you will grow up? I want to build such a beautiful nest full of memories with you. Fly away around the whole world and explore yourself, just remember there is one nest where you can come back when it becomes dark. Someplace where you are cherished for being yourself, someplace where you belong……. A global citizen’s own little nest full of memories.